This post is for all the mums out there who are struggling with their never-ending list of tasks and guilt. Whether you’re a working mum or on maternity leave and feeling guilty that you haven’t done enough by the time your husband gets home, believe me, you are doing enough.
Today I imploded, my brain had too many tabs open and all I wanted to do was sit in the corner of my living room and cry, or clean. I’ve noticed that at the height of stress my brain reverts to picking my house apart and trying to clean or tidy up, it’s some way of gaining back control by completing something but in actual fact, it just adds another to-do to my ever-growing list.
I love my job and adore being a mum but finding the balance between the two is so damn hard. I’m breastfeeding with one arm & replying to emails with the other, then once she’s asleep I’m rushing around trying to take photos, arrange retreats, speak to clients or film videos, my creativity has taken a nose dive & I’m totally racked with guilt as I know she’ll never be this young again.
Today I broke the silence and told my husband how I was feeling, his answer was simple, stop working with your heart and work with your brain. He’s right, I always lead with my heart and in most cases, it’s worked out fine but it’s never the right move with business. So I thought I’d write down my plan in case it helps any other working mums and dads out there..
1. Be realistic. Think of three things you need to accomplish daily and make them your priority, then write down a secondary list of projects or tasks you can complete if you end up with any free time.
2. Ask for help. My friends and councillor are going to laugh their heads off when they see this as it’s my biggest weakness but its true. You may hate to ask for it but true friends love to help as it makes them feel needed. Whether it’s help to walk your dog, batch cooking, picking up parcels or simply taking your little one out for a walk, let people help you.
3. Say no. Again, its another weakness of mine but you really can’t do it all, at some point you just have to say no and man does it feel good when you do! Remember, everything happens for a reason, so if you’re meant to do it, it will come around again when you’re more available, don’t let FOMO add to your guilt or your to-do list.
4. Acknowledgement. It’s something that gets taken for granted but remember, you’re keeping a human alive and that’s more than enough work for one day. If today the only thing you did was breathe, eat and feed your little one then you’ve done fabulously.
5. Admit. It’s taken me five weeks to admit that although my little girl is a total dream and I love my job, I’m struggling…actually forget struggling, I’m drowning! Admitting and accepting that it’s not always going to be easy, will allow you to take the pressure off and reduce the amount of guilt you feel when you don’t accomplish as much as you used to. I’d love to read your thoughts on this so please leave me lots of comments below! Let’s help each other out!