Let’s start by saying nothing awful happened to me. I’m not saying I haven’t been in crappy relationships or found myself in shitty situations, nor have I never been depressed or anxious and actually at the time of seeking therapy I was pretty damn happy. You see you don’t have to be at the end of the line to ask for help. I wish I’d known earlier that asking for help is just the biggest damn awesome thing you can do for yourself. We’re taught to be tough, independent, to hide our weaknesses and always be as positive as possible, but sometimes you just need someone to teach you a new way of thinking, to challenge your current thoughts about life and to listen to the crap that’s swimming around in your head.
I reached out for help because I had this overwhelming fear of losing my parents, my dog, basically anyone around me that I loved and it was something that would consume my every other thought. Now the funny thing is, I thought that was my main issue! It wasn’t, and after eight sessions we got to the bottom of it and fixed it without actually ever really talking about what I initially went in for… crazy right?
Misconceptions, the right counsellor doesn’t make you hate your parents or panic that you fancy your Dad. He or she won’t damage the relationships you have in your life, you might just find that they give you a new way of thinking about those relationships and situations which makes everything easier for you. You might need to go through a couple of counsellors to find the right one for you, personally, I went by the recommendation of three friends who had only good things to say, and luckily it turned out to be the right match for me but don’t settle if it doesn’t seem right.
Be prepared to change and by change I don’t mean chop off your hair, although you might, a new woman and all that! I didn’t realise how much I had changed this year until my friends around me pointed out little differences in my behaviour, stress levels and the way I reacted to things. I went to counselling to conquer death and in return became a calmer, more loving, carefree and happier person. I’ve actually learnt more about myself and the life I have been living in the last eight sessions than I have in my last 30 years.Although I feel we’ve conquered my fear I am keeping my counsellor in my life, you see, you never know what memories or future situations are going to knock you down. I know that being a mum is going to have its own challenges and so for that reason, I’ll continue to ask for help. It’s good to have an impartial character in your life to guide you in making good decisions.
So whether you have had a traumatic experience, have fears that are consuming you or just simply need someone to talk to I urge you to ask for help. There is no need to suffer or worry about anything if it can simply vanish by speaking to someone who can help you. I’d love to hear your thoughts on therapy, have you had it, thought about it or finished it? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!