Confidence was something I thought came with beauty, it came with the right outfit, the right words and the right makeup, never did I think it came with age.
I could always fake confidence, fake that I fitted in, that I was confident in my skin and that I understood what everyone around me was talking about, however, it was utter bullshit, a cover story for how I thought I should behave.
Love certainly boosts your confidence and if it hasn’t then it might be my opinion but GET OUT. The right person should compliment the path you deserve, make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the room no matter if you have Sudocream on your face or chia seeds in your teeth. Love certainly changed mine, taught me how to be beautiful from the inside out, something you cannot change with makeup or surgery.
Everyday that I grow older, something I used to hold so vital becomes a little less important. I used to obsessively straighten my hair, iron out all kinks, now I let it do its thing, the crazier the better. Gone are my thick black winged liner days and concealer mistakes, now its mascara and a quick swipe of powder. Goodbye padded bra’s that could take a bullet to the boob without any injury, hello lace that makes me feel like an undercover temptress.
The biggest change of all is my happiness to say no, to be me in any situation. I never wanted to say no to anyone for fear of them walking away from our friendship. Now I understand that the right friends understand your reason to say no.
I stopped drinking, well I swapped boozy nights for an espresso martini. You see I’ve never really enjoyed alcohol, it was just something I did to have fun with friends, now I thoroughly enjoy my espresso martini and then happily ask for a gin and tonic without the gin. I’ll still be the last one standing and I’m never afraid to act a fool – I just don’t feel the need to drink to please others.
Confidence will find you if you let it. Stop doing the things you don’t want to, stop trying to fit in and stop trying to buy something you can buy. Do you, whoever you are.